Ep. 23 | Staying Stoked Through Tough Times
Hello, and welcome to Live Stoked, Lead Stoked. Today, we're walking through a subject that is incredibly personal and difficult yet universally shared: grief. Grief is something that touches everyone, whether it’s the loss of a pet like in my case, a family member, or a friend. As shared in the latest podcast episode, I recently experienced the sudden and unexpected death of my beloved cat, a loss that made me question many aspects of life. Here’s what the past week has taught me about the profound nature of grief, living authentically, and healing.
The Catalyst for Grief
Grief hit me like a truck when my cat passed away suddenly. Just days after recording an episode about how my cat provided me with “purr therapy” and the simple joys pets bring into our lives, he was gone. One moment, we were laughing about his quirky behavior; the next, he was no longer with us. This sudden event was a stark reminder of how fragile life is and how quickly circumstances can change.
The initial shock gave way to a deep sense of dread. It felt as though our home was suddenly hollow, and with it, a sinking fear began to gnaw at me. Was our home cursed? Had we made a terrible mistake? Our cat's passing made me question every foundation I stood upon, stirring up a whirlwind of doubts and fears.
Questioning Everything
Walking through grief, I found myself questioning the authenticity and the risk of the stoked life we strived to live. In moments of darkness, the mind often catastrophizes, projecting worst-case scenarios and second-guessing past decisions. One question that weighed heavily on me was: "Have we made some grand mistake in our choices?"
This questioning wasn't just theoretical. Having experienced near-financial ruin in the past, these concerns were real. The fear of repeating previous mistakes loomed large. However, stepping back, evaluating our plans, and assessing our safeguards significantly helped in realizing that while the future is uncertain, we are not in an irredeemable position.
Finding Perspective
In the fog of grief, gaining perspective becomes essential. For me, it was about differentiating between what was a catastrophic thought and what was a manageable risk. Instead of spiraling down the path of what-ifs, I re-evaluated our choices.
During this period, going for a 10-mile walk over ocean bluffs with my husband helped clear my mind. This wasn’t just exercise; it was an opportunity to reflect and regain focus. Being outdoors, moving our bodies, and engaging with nature provided almost instant therapeutic value. It reminded us of the beauty still present in the world despite our recent loss.
Support and Self-Care
Navigating grief isn't an isolated journey; it’s deeply ingrained with the support system we build around ourselves. Reaching out to friends, therapists, and even this podcast community has been invaluable. My therapist played a crucial role, providing a safe space to express my emotions without judgment. Small tasks and achievements started to build momentum, pulling me slowly out of the deep abyss. Whether it was folding laundry, completing a workout, or accomplishing daily work tasks, these small victories built up a sense of accomplishment and normalcy.
The Unseen Gifts of Hardship
Grief accentuates the value of life and the choices we make. Regardless of the scale of the loss, it’s crucial to keep going, to 'walk through hell,' understanding that this too shall pass. Leaning into grief, instead of running from it, has reinforced the necessity to live authentically.
Perhaps the greatest lesson I’ve learned is that living a stoked life isn’t just about joy and success. It’s also about resilience, the resolve to keep going when faced with adversity. Grief, with its deep and dark edges, makes the moments of joy and connection all the more vivid and priceless. It’s in these contrasting moments that life truly finds its richness.
To anyone grieving, remember: you're not alone. From the darkest depths, perspective, support, and small victories can pull you toward light. Grief, be it from the loss of a pet or a loved one, is an inevitable part of life’s journey. Through this shared human experience, we find the strength to keep moving forward, even when it feels like we cannot take another step.
As we continue to live our lives stoked and with authenticity, let’s remember to embrace both the highs and lows because both are integral parts of our journey. Thank you for being a part of this community and sharing in these vulnerable moments.
Connect with Sarah:
Instagram - @livestoked_leadstoked (business) & @sea2mountains (personal)
LinkedIn - sarahbettman
Website - www.sarahbettman.com & www.livestoked.com
Follow on Facebook - CoachBettman
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More About Live Stoked | Lead Stoked
Have you ever wondered if there is something more? Are you ready for something to change, but aren’t sure how to get started…or even what to change? Do you dream of living life on your own terms, full of purpose and the ability to choose what’s best for you? Are you ready to live stoked?
You’ve come to the right place! In this podcast, we will explore what it means to live stoked. To live a life on your terms, one where we’ve tossed away the pressures of roles, expectations, and identities that have been put on you and that you did not choose, is a bold choice. Frankly, it’s a series of small choices in micro-moments that lead to a bold life.
I am Sarah Bettman, coach, consultant, and speaker, but more importantly, I’m a person who found myself waking up in the wrong life and needed to find a way to me.
I am on a mission to unravel the things we tell ourselves, the roles and/or identities we’ve taken on, and the expectations that drive our decision making, so that we can begin to live our most authentic and stoked lives. My guests and I will share our stories, solutions, and multitude of ideas…since one size definitely doesn’t not fit all.
My hope is that you will find something meaningful for you, in the moment, that will move you forward on your path.