Ep. 15 | Leaving Toxic Systems and Finding Yourself with Michelle Moffitt

Written By Sarah Bettman

At the heart of the "Live Stoked Lead Stoked" podcast, we dive deep into conversations that ignite the fire within us to live authentically and with purpose. In our latest episode, titled "Breaking Out of Toxic Systems," we explore the transformative journey of Michelle Moffitt, a mental health therapist, leadership coach, and author whose life experiences are both harrowing and inspiring. We delve into Michelle's struggle to find her true self amidst oppressive environments and what it really means to live a 'stoked' life.

Braving the Tides of Change

Michelle's story is one of courage and resilience. Raised in a progressive household, she unexpectedly found herself enveloped in the conservative world of a church for over two decades. Here, she faced extreme challenges and abuses, yet she emerged with a profound sense of self. Michelle recounts her experience with religious cognitive dissonance and the crucial turning points that ultimately led her to prioritize her well-being over oppressive traditions.

Unleashing Your True Self

Living stoked, as Michelle describes, is more than mere happiness or success; it's about stripping away the coping mechanisms that shield our authentic selves. It's a call to be transparent, to align our external lives with our inner truths. She emphasizes this alignment as key to unlocking a life fulfilled, a theme central to the ethos of "Live Stoked Lead Stoked."

Navigating Personal and Systemic Challenges

Michelle candidly shares her past role as a church planter's wife, trapped within the confines of a complementarian system where she felt stifled and defeated. We discuss the dangers of such a system and how it impedes authentic living. They unravel the intricacies of feeling safety in the familiar yet recognizing the necessity for upheaval when core values are threatened.

Moments of Realization

For many, the journey towards self-discovery follows a significant life event or series of moments that challenge long-held beliefs. Both Michelle and I reflect on the triggers that initiate change and highlight the dangers of waiting for a crisis to occur before taking action. Michelle's story spotlights the importance of being proactive in seeking transformation, urging listeners not to wait for a breaking point to evolve.

Becoming Who You Were Meant to Be

With her upcoming book launch, Michelle discusses the themes of her book, which metaphorically frame her path to awakening. You are invited to engage, offering insights and preferences for her book title.

Support Systems and Self-Care

The journey out of a toxic system is monumental, and Michelle highlights the significance of external support and inner strength. She describes engaging with self-reflective tools such as the Enneagram and the joy found in nature, sports, and family life—all elements that contribute to persistence and resilience.

Finding Your Voice 

Both of us address the double-edged sword of vocalizing one's truth. Sharing personal experiences, we explain the paradox women face when encouraged to speak but then criticized for being too vocal. It’s important to stay committed to one's voice despite societal pressures.

Relentless Pursuit of Growth

Michelle’s story serves as a beacon of hope for anyone facing similar challenges. Breaking out of toxic systems is not only possible, but it's also a reclamation of the self. It's about consistently choosing authenticity over conformity. 

We encourage you to reflect on your own life, identify areas where you can live more authentically, and maybe even take a step towards positive transformation today. 

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More About Live Stoked | Lead Stoked

Have you ever wondered if there is something more? Are you ready for something to change, but aren’t sure how to get started…or even what to change? Do you dream of living life on your own terms, full of purpose and the ability to choose what’s best for you? Are you ready to live stoked?

You’ve come to the right place! In this podcast, we will explore what it means to live stoked. To live a life on your terms, one where we’ve tossed away the pressures of roles, expectations, and identities that have been put on you and that you did not choose, is a bold choice. Frankly, it’s a series of small choices in micro-moments that lead to a bold life.

I am Sarah Bettman, coach, consultant, and speaker, but more importantly, I’m a person who found myself waking up in the wrong life and needed to find a way to me. 

I am on a mission to unravel the things we tell ourselves, the roles and/or identities we’ve taken on, and the expectations that drive our decision making, so that we can begin to live our most authentic and stoked lives. My guests and I will share our stories, solutions, and multitude of ideas…since one size definitely doesn’t not fit all. 

My hope is that you will find something meaningful for you, in the moment, that will move you forward on your path.

Sarah Bettman
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Ep. 16 | Using Magic to Challenge Assumptions with Dan Trommater
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Ep. 14 | Navigating Change and Transition