Ep. 11 | Understanding Your Unique Identity with Dr. Stephanie Kirkland

Written By Sarah Bettman

In the latest episode of 'Live Stoked, Lead Stoked,' I welcomed Dr. Stephanie Kirkland, who shares her insights into what it means to live 'stoked' through the lens of identity and choice. She discusses embracing an identity-centered life, resisting societal pressures, and being intentional in our daily interactions. This powerful concept sets the stage for a deeper conversation about societal expectations, particularly for women, and the need to prioritize self over predetermined roles.

Defining Success on Your Own Terms

Dr. Kirkland speaks about her upcoming book, 'Identity: 12 Lessons on Unapologetically Owning Your Uniqueness in a World that Doesn't See it as Normal.' She emphasizes the significance of understanding our beliefs and values and staying true to ourselves. Highlighting her research, she notes the importance of authentic self-representation for African American women in executive roles, especially in a world where traditional leadership norms still prevail.

The Art of Boundaries

An essential aspect of maintaining authenticity is the practice of boundary-setting. Dr. Kirkland shares her strategies for respecting her introverted nature in various social interactions, while I am able to reflect on my own experiences with boundaries and the need for reentry post-socialization. We both agree that respecting personal limits is critical for well-being and performance.

The Importance of Language and Capacity

Both Dr. Kirkland and I touch upon how the lack of language and understanding to articulate inner experiences can lead to significant emotional turmoil. They stress the value of having the tools to confront and work through difficulties to avoid extreme distress and the loss of meaningful discussion.

Breaking Traditional Leadership Models

Dr. Kirkland's doctoral work sheds light on the leadership struggles faced by African American women and critiques traditional leadership models that don't align with her experiences and those of other women in her research. This conversation extends to the need for self-authorization to chart new paths, challenging the concept of permission-seeking in personal development.

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More About Live Stoked | Lead Stoked

Have you ever wondered if there is something more? Are you ready for something to change, but aren’t sure how to get started…or even what to change? Do you dream of living life on your own terms, full of purpose and the ability to choose what’s best for you? Are you ready to live stoked?

You’ve come to the right place! In this podcast, we will explore what it means to live stoked. To live a life on your terms, one where we’ve tossed away the pressures of roles, expectations, and identities that have been put on you and that you did not choose, is a bold choice. Frankly, it’s a series of small choices in micro-moments that lead to a bold life.

I am Sarah Bettman, coach, consultant, and speaker, but more importantly, I’m a person who found myself waking up in the wrong life and needed to find a way to me. 

I am on a mission to unravel the things we tell ourselves, the roles and/or identities we’ve taken on, and the expectations that drive our decision making, so that we can begin to live our most authentic and stoked lives. My guests and I will share our stories, solutions, and multitude of ideas…since one size definitely doesn’t not fit all. 

My hope is that you will find something meaningful for you, in the moment, that will move you forward on your path.

Sarah Bettman
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Ep. 12 | Connecting Language Speakers for Immersive Conversations with Jess Ames Pappalardo
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Ep. 10 | Embracing Your Big Yes Energy with Susan Hyatt