Pull-ups & The Power of Coaching

If you've been following me for a minute, you know that Matt and I started "Muscle School." To others, it may be called strength training, but we hate strength training, so we call it muscle school. Don't judge. It works.

It's been an interesting process as I've been learning about moves that previously scared me- I'm looking at you dead lifts, cleans, and other fancy body building stuff.

I've also gotten to experience the power of coaching. As a coach myself, it would seem that I should already get it…but it's always cool when we when are the client, not the coach.

Last month, I posted on the socials with pride that I had done 45 pull-ups. Granted, they were assisted with two heavy duty bands that carried some of my weight and the pull-ups were uglier than sin. BUT it did them and was so proud that I posted about them.

What I didn't post was how emotional I was when I left the gym that day. I was so damned proud of myself that I cried…happy cry? Overwhelmed cry? I have no idea. As I walked the 15 minute walk home, I spent some time exploring the experience and realized that I had just experienced the power of coaching. I was so stoked and ready to post about it back then, but didn't. I wasn't feeling it.

I didn't realized why until today…after completing 50 chin ups (assisted and ugly), I realized the long term impact of the coaching I received a month before.

What makes a great coach?

You could almost get a different answer for every person you ask. Why? Because coaching means a lot of things to a lot of people…from sports coaching to performance coaching to leadership coaching to product coaching, they all have attributes that make them what they are. Then, from there, you have individual expressions of coaching- how I coach is different than my colleague, whether it's by training or experience or something else, we're all a bit different.

So, using my experience with pull ups, I'll share what I experienced and what I believe makes great coaching.

First, a coach MUST believe in their client's capacity to change. Now this may seem obvious, but early in my career I have to admit, I didn't understand this. I would have said everyone has the capacity to change, so of course I believe this. But I remember taking on some clients for whom I didn't believe in their capacity….either they weren't ready for the change they were after, perhaps overly stuck in a way that my coaching couldn't remedy (I'm not for everyone or every situation), or a whole host of other things.

On this day at the gym, Alan fundamentally believed in my ability to do the pull-ups…not the fake, anyone can do pull-ups if they try hard enough. I know it sounds like the same thing, but if you've been a recipient of the latter, you know what I'm talking about. It feels cheerleady and kinda gross.

Whether Alan trusted me, the assistance tools, or the process, it doesn't matter…I felt that he believed I could do it and that led to everything else.

From this stance, he held space for me to figure it out.

For the first round, I had to do 20 pull-ups. Period. If I was to progress to the next round, I had to do the pull-ups. At least, that's what I believed and he could see it. Therefore, he was just there while I struggled. He provided positive reinforcement, but for the most left me to get it done.

Had I called mercy or said I couldn't do it, I also know he would have supported that…but until that moment, he was not going to let me off the hook. He wasn't going to budge an inch or do anything to suggest the idea. If I wanted out, it was 100% on me.

This is important. We coaches, myself included, can find ourselves uncomfortable when our clients struggle and want to jump in and make the easier, or let them off the hook, but there is nothing more disempowering for the client. The best way through struggle is through…there is nothing better than learning you can do something.

Alan also contributed support when I needed it- now this can get a bit controversial in coaching, since some believe the coach shouldn't contribute to the conversation and let the client figure out things for themselves. But that's not how my style evolved. My first job as an in-house corporate coach was as part of a wellness program. I was supporting people in achieving their wellness and life goals, but I also had to provide some supportive education. If my client didn't understand what a protein was and how it contributed to their wellbeing, I needed to provide them with that information. The coaching stance I took was to trust my client to then figure out what they wanted to do with that information and to create actions that were meaningful for them.

Alan did the same for me in this pull-up project.

During one of the breaks, I mentioned that I liked the pull-up machines in gyms that support your weight. It was by using one of those machines in the past that I learned that pull-ups are really initiated from the back and not the arms. Once my body learned that, the pull-ups got easier. Now many years later and long past my body remembering how to do a pull-up, I needed that reminder and Alan gave it to me. He provided prompts to help me better understand how to initiate the pull-up. AND he didn't take that invitation to start critiquing everything I did. The goal of this activity was conditioning- doing hard things for a period of time…Not form. He gave me just enough information to complete the activity and nothing more.

Finally, he celebrated when I completed the series of sets- 20, 15, 10. It took a while, but I felt like the time didn't matter. What mattered to me is that I stayed in it and I did it and that was what was celebrated. I was so proud of myself!

Ultimately, my body was smarter because of the coaching and the space and time to figure out how to do a pull-up. Well, actually, 45 pull-ups.

That became evident today as I did 50 chin-ups (10 sets of 5 each). I was comfortable, confident, and able to complete the activity. I knew the assistance I needed, I knew better how to leverage that assistance, and I just got the job done. What was started a month ago, was built upon today.

Had Alan not provided great coaching during the pull-ups, I might have done what I've done in the past…dreaded going back to the gym, created stories why I can't do strength training, and ultimately, quit. Instead, I'm stoked and can't wait until the next time! I have a vision of myself doing pull-ups unassisted and can't wait for that day to come.